[外事礼仪]On Etiquette 论礼仪

Etiquette to society what apparel is to indivual. Without apparel men would go in shameful nudity which would surely lead to the corruption of moral ,and without etiquette society would be in a pitiful state and the necessary intercourse between its members would be interfered with by needless offences and troubles. If society were a train, the etiquette would be the rails along which only the train could rumble forth; if society were a state coach , the etiquette would be the wheels and axis on which only the coach would roll forward. The lack of proprieties would make the most intimate friends turn to the most deced enemies and the friendly or allied countries declare war against each other. We can find many examples in the history of mankind. Therefore, I advise you to stand on ceremony before anyone else and take pains not to do anything against etiquette lest you give offences or make enemies.

礼仪之与社会，犹如服饰之与个人。不着服饰，人们将裸体而行；不顾廉耻，终将导致道德败坏；丢弃礼仪，社会将陷于沉沦，个人间日常交往将充斥不必要之气恼与麻烦。若社会是火车，礼仪便是其赖以隆隆前行的铁轨；若社会是马车，礼仪便是其籍以滚滚前进的轮轴。没有礼仪，密友将成死敌，盟国相互宣战。人类历史中，其例不胜枚举。寄语读者，切记谦恭待人，殚精竭虑，勿违礼仪，以免出言冒犯，招致仇敌。

附礼仪故事三则：

第一则：一位学校领导向教师们介绍新来的美国老师

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delighted to introduce to you a very pretty girl, Miss Brown. She is a very good teacher from the USA.

对这番话，美国女教师一脸难堪的样子。

文化差异：中国人介绍来宾，喜欢用褒扬的话语言辞。但美国人认为，初次结识，相互介绍，不必评头论足。凡是主观性的评论，尽管是美言，也会给人唐突、强加的感觉。对以上那番话，美国女教师感到难堪的是pretty和good两个词。在那种场合，介绍应该突出背介绍人的身份、学历、职务等，而不应该是外貌和抽象的评论。相比之下，如果把pretty和good改成实际教育背景和经历，这样的介绍句比较客观，令人容易接受。

比较下面改变措辞的介绍：

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm delighted to introduce to you a new teacher from the USA., Miss Ann Brown. She is a doctor of American Literature with experience of teaching English as a Foreign Language.

特别忠告：介绍客人要介绍客观事实，不要主观评论。要注重身份，不要着眼外貌。

第二则：一位美国同事感冒了，中国同事表示关心

Chinese: You look pale. What's the matter?

American: I'm feeling sick. A cold, maybe.

Chinese: Go and see the doctor. Drink more water. D you take any pills? Chinese medicine works wonderful. Would you like to try? Put on more clothes. Have a good rest.

American: You are not my mother, are you?

文化差异：美国人比较看中个人的独立性。受人照顾往往被视为弱者。给对方出主意或提建议时，不能使对方认为自己小看他的能力。美国人对上面第一句话的反应通常是"Take care of yourself. I hope you'll be better soon."不必教人怎么做。中国人则以出主意提建议表示关心，而且以兄弟姐妹或父母亲人的口吻，或以过来人的口气，这对美国人行不通。

特别忠告：对病人表示关心，不必尽提建议。

可以使用下列语句：

(1)I'm sorry to hear that (you've got a bad cold).

(2)I hope you'll be all right very soon.

(3)Take extra care of yourself.

(4)That's too bad. What's the matter?

(5)How are you feeling now?

第三则：有空来坐坐

一位美国教师在中国任教，中国同事总是对她说：“有空来坐坐”。可是，半年过去了，美国同事从来没有上过门。中国同事又对她说：“我真的欢迎你来家里坐坐。如果没空的话，随时打电话来聊聊也行。”一年下来，美国同事既没有来电话，也没有来访。奇怪的事，这位美国人常为没人邀请她而苦恼。

文化差异：中国亲朋好友合同事之间的串门很随便，邀请别人来访无需为对方确定时间，自己去探访别人无需郑重其事征得同意。美国人则没有串门的习惯。一年内遇到大节日，亲朋好友才到家里聚一聚。平时如果有事上门，实现要有时间确切的预约。没有得到对方的应允，随时随地随便上门时不礼貌的行为。因此，美国同事对“有空来坐坐”这句话只当作虚礼客套，不当作正式邀请。无事打电话闲聊也是美国人视为打乱别人私人时间和活动安排的毛是行为。若想邀请美国人上门，应当诚意的于对方商定一个互相都方便的时间。

特别忠告：有心约会要主动约时间地点。